Why I’m Here


First of all I’m so grateful  and excited to be here – not only contributing to this blog, but also having the privilege to be raising a boy in these times so full of possibility for change.  Thank you partner in raising boys for your great idea to start this blog together.

I hope that my voice here will add an interesting compliment to my blogging partner’s.  While we share many values as feminists attempting to raise empathetic boys who can express their emotions freely, experience tenderness, and show respect for themselves, girls and women, their communities, and the planet, we also have different experiences of mothering, different challenges, and different takes on what may work best.   I hope that both our common ideals, and the colour and contrast in our voices will encourage many others to join in the discussion.

So, why am I here?

I am so lucky to live in a  community, where many are choosing to work towards peace on Earth, nurturing compassion and non-violent communication, protection for all life-forms, and reducing the divides that exist between men and women, have and have-nots, free and oppressed, and mass consumption and sustainability.

How we raise our children plays a huge role in this work, and for me, specifically, how we raise our sons…as I am mother to a boy.   I believe much of the struggle we face in life today, both locally and globally, stems from such issues as differing communication styles we teach to boys and girls, discouraging boys from feeling empathy, showing vulnerability, encouraging competition, techno-gadgetry lust, immersion in the media onslaught of battle-play, and eroding the role of the family, and potentially the mother, as one of the most important teachers of peace, empathy and unconditional love, through earlier and earlier separation and school entry.

I am a single mother, raising a boy, now six, in a shared custody with a  man who has very different values from me.  I earn my ‘daily bread’ and experience many of my passions, and much of my learning, providing childcare from my home to children aged 1.5 to 7.

I nurture my understanding of motherhood, parenthood, and how children grow and flourish as members of a community, with ideas of attachment parenting, alternatives to group daycare, early pre-school, full-time kindergarten and regular public school education.  My work and passion for children’s learning and well-being is inspired by the continuum concept, nurturing empathy through NVC, unschooling, life-long-learning, child-led learning, the work of Gordon Neufeld, John Holt, Maria Montessori, Waldorf education, and many more…

I have been involved in the lives of children, either as a baby-sitter, nanny or teacher for many years, taught ESL to folks from many cultures of all ages for over 15, and lived and worked in three countries.  I am fascinated by the roles educational, family, and societal values play in raising our children.

My education in Communications, with a specialization in film editing, did not turn out as I expected, with me becoming a documentary film-maker or journalist, but my desire for telling stories that change the way we think about life has not diminished since then.  I am pleased to be here living, learning and loving being a mother to a boy, AND WRITING ABOUT IT!

My hope is that in writing on rasingaboy, I will be able to share with many some of my learning, musings, observations and doubts, and ignite passion and dialogue in others.

signing out for now,

Belinda

This entry was posted in Child-rearing, Daughters, Happiness, Peace, Sons, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Why I’m Here

  1. Kathleen says:

    Great idea, we learn so much from our children and raising a boy is more rewarding and challenging then I could have ever imagined too.
    I look forward to more posts!
    Welcome to the blogosphere
    Peace ॐ ♡

  2. Chandra says:

    I have to comment. We are a lot alike!
    I majored in Theater at NYU. I founded New York Youth Theater & directed kids.
    Then moved to AZ. Founded AZ Youth Theater & directed a lot more kids.
    Then I had my son. And worked in childcare. When he was 4 I started homeschooling and providing childcare in my home. When he was 10 I adopted my second son – age 7.
    Now my bio-son is 13. My adopted son is 10. And I’m in the process of adopting an 11yr old boy – my new son.
    So I have 3 boys – 13,11,10, and 3 childcare littles.
    I’ve always been very independent & single.
    And I’m very interested in raising them to be caring, good men.
    It’s a big challenge.
    Chandra

    • raisingaboy says:

      Hi Chandra,
      Thanks for checking in! I think I’ve seen your name and perhaps even exchanged ideas before on a yahoo single parents homeschooling group! I’ve appreciated much of your advice and see you as a strong woman who’s doing awesome work! Do you miss working away from home or doing theatre with kids / youth?
      Belinda

  3. stealthjew says:

    I am the mother of two sons and one daughter, G-d willing more (my oldest is pulling for a daughter next though), and I found your blog through a plug.

    I’m not quite sure what you’re basing your parenting philosophy on here. What we know about boys who are in trouble is not that they played with guns or consumed too much or didn’t have the hovering presence of a mother or went to preschool too early. What we know is that they didn’t have the presence of a _father_. And yet this blog cuts fathers right out of the equation. In fact, your partner has “very different values” — you appear to be raising your child in contradiction to the way he would raise the child.

    The most important part of child-rearing is not raising an empathic person. Empathy is lovely, but it is only one value. It is also important to raise a good, just, decent child, a child with strength and fortitude, a child who can be just as well as merciful. And vulnerability isn’t even a virtue! In fact, when adopted voluntarily, I can’t see how it isn’t a vice, a plea to the world to take care of you.

    • bumblebee336 says:

      Thanks for your comment ‘Stealthjew’. It seems I have ignited some passion. I’m glad and do appreciate your voice. I would like, however, to emphasize that I did not intend my post to ‘cut fathers right out of the equation’ at all and hope that it does not come across that way to all readers. Fathers and hopefully other male role models in the attachment village play a vital role.

      would love to know what other’s think of your words……..more comments, reader’s??

      • Cynthia says:

        I think it was rather a lot to assume based on one very general introductory entry! I for one am looking forward to reading more specific thoughts and will reserve judgement until then.

        I don’t feel that you cut fathers out of the equation, nor do I think that mothers should automatically default to the values of the father as seems to be suggested in the above comment (though I may be reading it wrong).

        Likewise, I didn’t read this entry as saying that empathy was “the most” important part of parenting, nor the only value that was being/should be focused on.

        Regarding vulnerability, I read it in terms of openness within relationships, being emotionally vulnerable with those close to us rather than keeping our distance to protect ourselves. I can see why vulnerability in general could be considered a “vice” in the sense of requiring protection from others, but reading it in context with the rest of the post, I’m quite certain that wasn’t the sort of vulnerability being promoted.

  4. Cynthia says:

    I’m looking forward to reading more!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s